Selas Khelani talks about what men talk about the most - their obsession with those bits of a female anatomy that are politely known as 'bosom' and 'derriere'...

Guys like staring at gals' breasts because a reputed medical journal, after extensive testing and diligent research has concluded that staring for just 10 minutes at a well-endowed female is 'roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobic workout'. Apparently, it gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation.

Well now, who'da thunk it?

Apart from the trivial conclusion that this activity increases the lifespan of guys, staring at girl's breasts is just so much fun. They're such enigmas wrapped in mysteries just waiting to be unraveled by the roving eye and a guy's ever-imaginative mind.

It's the 'choli ke peeche kya hain?' (crude translation: What is beneath the blouse?) ditty that best describes the fascination. The size, shape, colour, curves, feel of those mounds of delight that girls, by the way, are also obsessed with (think push-up bras), and the thoughts that pervade a dude's mind as he ogles at a chick's curvaceous charms.

Breasts make girls look well, like girls of course! And guys like looking at girls in various stages of undress. We stare at girls because we're, well, guys and have been doing it since the time Adam bit into the 'apple' which Eve put in front of him.

Was this 'apple' a metaphor for some other juicy 'fruit'? One can't say, but girls should just know, that it doesn't mean we don't respect them when we ogle at their splendid curves.

It just means that we're appreciating their beauty and in the process enriching our own sexual fantasies. No harm in that now, is there?

Let's take a step back and look at the ass now, shall we? Guys simply assume that since girls like wearing tight jeans with a bit of their panty sticking out that girls like the flitter in guy's heart their derrières cause. Throughout the animal kingdom, there are examples of beastly creatures using their rumps, their colourful feathers, their scent and their mating calls to attract the opposite sex. The ass is the human equivalent of an enticer.

Since it's located at the posterior, it emits a come hither' hypnotic spell on guys, who will follow you around much like the rats did when the Pied Piper played his flute. And just like the rats, you can get guys to do imprudent things with the aid of your shapely tushy.

Also, the T&A obsession gives something else for guys to find common ground when they're hanging about doing their whole "Dude, check that out, dude," thing.

Guys like talking about a gal's anatomy, like it or not, and that's something that will never change. It's like bonding over football. They're both about scoring.

Only in football, they fare a better chance of winning their bets, which could be why when football is on TV, guys don't really look at girls around them. That is also why there are half-naked girls with their faces painted at the games. As Homer Simpson would say: "Mmmmmm, football and girl," drool...

And finally, it's the sheer visual nature of guys that draws them to tits and ass like moths to a flame. So remember, you're the flame and we're the moths!