Fortunately for him the car was going at 10 kilometres an hour, so there weren't any serious injuries. Unfortunately for him, the driver was his girlfriend "A", so making an insurance claim was out of the question.
Well, technically ex-girlfriend. Who clearly has some issues from either watching too much Annie Oakley, or possibly Kill Bill (considering she's probably way too young for Annie Oakley to mean anything to her).
It all began as a beautiful fairy-tale romance, except there was no fairy godmother (not unless I sprout some wings and a halo and other appropriate female parts). "X" had seen "A" at some party or other, and I have to compliment him on his choice.
"A" was well to do, the kind who eats at restaurants for breakfast, and has way too many pieces from Tods when she was only 16. She was 19, searching for love because her parents were too busy buying her Louis Vuitton clothing to care, and he was mesmerized by her. It wasn't love at first sight, but after the first date, they were pretty dovey already.
I warned "X" at this time, not to dive in too fast. There's passion, and there's love. Sappy after a first date usually indicates three-minute romances, which are stupid and pointless unless one of the other party is definitely leaving anyway, e.g. one of you is living in Paris and the other is in Singapore, and you just need some good company when Paris is visiting Singapore, staying at the Hilton and desperate to film a porn show to set her off to newfound fame.
But "X" paid no heed to my advice (in fact all my friends do that, even when I'm pretty often proven right). They were paired together in about two weeks, and there the Downfall began.
"A" was still sweet to him, of course. She would call him, pick him up after school (letting him drive, of course) bring him everywhere, meet her friends. It was such a sweet rush, that he didn't mind it at first. But as the first month dazzles wore off, he began to notice the noose tightened around his neck.
She wouldn't allow him to meet his friends, he had to call her about every waking hour to talk to her and tell her what he was doing. She followed him everywhere as long as she was free. They quarrelled because he spoke to a female schoolmate. She threw her makeup at him. Two months into the ship, he jumped off.
It was drama after that. She struggled to pull him back on the ship, from wheedling, to crying, to threatening suicide (she had actually done it once with an ex-boyfriend, her friends informed him), so he decided to take up the rope she had thrown to him, and climbed back on board. Of course, that proved to be simply insane.
"A's" the stage play of "A"|"X" continued, the viewers (i.e. the friends) grew bored of eating popcorn and singing "I told you so", until it achieved an end somewhat similar to Madame Butterfly. Somewhat, because instead of trying to kill herself, "A" decided to run "X" over.
Unfortunately for "X", the opera hadn't ended. There was one more act, entitled Psycho: in which the crazy woman decides to stalk the lover who ditched her.
What's the moral of the story? There are a lot of crazy women in Singapore needing love from some stupid Romeo. (To digress slightly, there are really a lot of crazy women in Singapore. This woman on the train today told me she was going to call the cops because I used a vulgarity on the phone.)
So be extremely wary of the people you meet in bars, clubs, etc. Unless certified safe to date by someone you trust, and passed the state mental exam by a trusted shrink, maybe you should hold off on any serious attachments for a while.
It's what I call the three-month test. If the car doesn't prove stable after three months, sell it for any price you can get and get out. You don't wanna be involved in an accident, especially if you're the one under the wheels. So cool your heels, and the deal you will get will be the best you can get.
Of course, to do justice to the female generation, there are a lot of great women out there too. That's why I've decided to host singles parties, where men and women of suitable quality are invited to mingle, not in desperate search for a mate (no queues to check your teeth for good quality) but simply to chat and enjoy, and mix around. Quite unlike those speed-dating things. Send me your bio and resume if you would like to sign up.